Misfit is one of our prospects. He’s a good worker and reliable. He is also our best bike mechanic. My guys were too busy so Misfit came over to my shop. I asked him to attach my beautiful Suede Blue Harley-Davidson sidecar to my Harley. It matches my bike perfectly. Nobody teases me about the sidecar. I guess it’s due to my age. The side car gives me more stability and three wheels on the road. It also gives me a place for my groceries or a woman if I could find one.
Poor Misfit has had a tough life.
Misfit’s problems started, no, his life started when he failed a ninth grade English test because the teacher, Miss Martha Plumholtz, caught him cheating. He had Muriel Zandburg’s test paper on his desk right next to his test and he was copying it word for word.
The story goes that the old bitch snuck up behind him and slapped him hard on the back of his head. Of course, she confiscated both papers. She ripped Misfit’s paper in shreds and threw it in the trash.
Muriel wanted to be his girl friend and she would let him feel her up whenever he wanted. He would sneak in her back door while her folks were at work. Muriel was tall and skinny. She wore glasses and wore braces to correct an overbite.
Misfit told me that to this day, he finds an overbite sexy and he can’t resist women who have one.
Muriel, like the other ninth grade girls, had hot feelings and she loved him feeling her up. She had thin legs and her shorts were loose around her thighs.
Misfit told me, “It was easy to work my hand inside her shorts and then inside her panties. To this day, I love going slow and slipping my hand inside a gal’s shorts and then her panties. Damn that turns me on”.
The day after the cheating incident his life got worse when he was arrested by a county sheriff’s narc who found two ounces of weed and an ounce of speed hidden in his locker. He had to deal to just to feed himself. The cops released him until they could schedule an arraignment with the judge. Tojo Elliot was in the only jail cell and the cops knew Tojo would rape Misfit. Tojo was huge. Everybody in town feared him. He was retarded and real mean. I knew him and made it point to stay away from the crazy bastard.
The drug charges and the cheating were enough for Lois Kelley, the principal at George Washington Junior High School.
Misfit told me, “In fact, she said that, she said, ‘Norris. Enough is enough. I am expelling you permanently. You are a menace to your classmates. You prevent them from learning. Git. Now, just git’”.
Misfit went on, “I was fucking expelled. Permanently. I couldn’t believe it. Here I am, sixteen, expelled from school and then my mama makes her boy friend kick me out of the trailer.”
“I knew that I would need money so I begged for a job at the Dew Drop Inn. I promised the owner, “Big Dick” Poteet, that I would be the clean up boy for the bar and run all of his errands.”
“This job description included me daily cleaning Big Dick’s bike, a beautiful 1952 restored candy apple red Panhead. I had to polish some of the chrome with a Q tip and a toothbrush.
Big Dick told him, “Sure kid. Twenty bucks a week and you can sleep in the back store room and take your meals here. Don’t be jackin’ off on the potato chips.”
His joke was riotously funny to him and he laughed until he started coughing up big gobs of phlegm. Misfit laughed along with him so’s not to piss him off.
When he got control of his cough he went on, “Don’t fuck up. Don’t lie to me and don’t be stealin’ nothin’. I will beat you ass until you squeal like a little pig.”
He finished by telling Misfit, “You nothin’ but a goddamn misfit so that’s what me and boys will call you, “Misfit”. Then he started laughing again and choked down a double shot of Jim Beam to stop the cough.
Over time Misfit got shortened to “MF” which many people thought stood for Mother Fucker.
Misfit took another swig of Bud and went on, “I got used to it and came to view my name as cool. To me it said I was brave and a man who was brave enough to handle a name like Mother Fucker. My name alone scared shit out of some people.”
His job with Big Dick was his first exposure to the Satan’s Saints which eventually led to his membership in the club.
MF came to me and asked if he could speak to me in private.
“Sure kid. Let’s go out back behind the barn. “
We walked back past the barn just sauntering so we wouldn’t arouse any suspicion.
“Goat. I been fuckin’ Staph. She came on to me one night when Roach has passed out and we been sneakin’ around. He can’t get no hard on and you know I got big dick and now she’s tellin’ me she loves me. And, goddamnit I think I love her. I know she’s ten years older’n me but I can’t help it Goat. Please don’t tell anybody about this. Roach would kill me the slow way.”
I stopped to take a deep breath.
“Damn boy. I’ll keep it quiet but for god’s sake don’t ever tell anybody else. And tell Staph to keep her mouth shut. If Roach ever catches you two, he will do worse than them bastards from Downingtown. He’ll kill you both with that big ass forty-five he carries. I’m serious. Tell Staph keep this away from her girl friends or it will eventually get back to Roach. And, for god’s sake, think about when and where you do it. “
“Okay Goat. I hear you loud and clear.”
“Roach is sick and gettin’ sicker. He won’t go to no doctor and I don’t give him another year. I know he’s got heart trouble and he smokes and drinks way too much. You can see death in his eyes. And, he’s gettin’ that gray death look on his face. And if you notice he’s losin’ weight. So if you lucky, he may die before he ever finds about this. I like you kid and you have my word on this.”
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